Dru is a very sick baby, but we don't see it.
Dru is fighting for her life everyday, and at times that can be overwhelming. But for the most part, we just have this amazing sense of gratitude that she is here. And, more importantly, that she is ours.
I sometimes feel like maybe we should be more worried or sad, but we just aren't and I can't really explain it.
I do have some theories though:
1) Dru herself is a healing soul.
She has a spirit about her that just makes you love her and know that she is special. Not more special than my boys, just different.
Her smile cancels out EVERYTHING. The sleepless nights, the feeding tube, the blood draws, and the frustration of not knowing what is hurting.
Yes, the first couple weeks after learning about her illness were hard. A lot of tears, a lot of weak moments. But ultimately, we realized what a blessing Dru has been to our family.
It is a little harder to do our day-to-day activities, but we try, and that's what's important. We have been so fortunate so far to have Dru at home and be able to participate in all our family activities.
It takes extra planning. We may not be able to stay at events as long as we'd like, but we are trying.
I know there will come a time when Dru is too sick to attend ballgames or family dinners, so we will enjoy the heck out of them while we can, even if it's harder.
3) Most importantly, our family, especially Bill and I, have learned to turn our troubles over to The Lord.
There is a peace in our home that has never been here before and It is what keeps me strong and positive everyday.
I am often reminded that I can't do it all, as much as I would like too. But who better to turn my cares over to than my Savior? Who better to watch over my children when I feel like I'm failing?
Dru's full name is Gracie-Dru Symone Shipley. Her first name (Grace) is no accident.
We know that it is God's grace that brought her to us, and it will be His grace that carries us through this adventure, and all our future adventures.
You are so incredibly strong. And this is why she choose you for her mama. Because after all is said and done, she knew you would be the one to carry her through this. Love you friend.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you having an ailing child and I hate when people say it's manageable. It's not manageable it's necessary to keep her alive.it makes life harder but so worth the smiles. I have faced a lot of struggles as of recent and you being in my life is no accident either. It never occurred to me that I could turn my troubles to the lord...I want to focus on that I have been finding my faith but trusting it has been another process. Bless that gorgeous baby and may you find more strength every day.
ReplyDeleteRachel, you have been such an example to me. More than you know. The things you do to save Ava every day. You just have too.
DeleteI always looked at other situations like mine or yours and thought "I could never handle that" but you do because you have no other choice.
As far as leaning on God--for me, that is a recent discovery and divine intervention in my opinion. I found a very personal relationship with God a little before Dru came to is and I know that it was not coincidence. I know it's a personal thing, but praying and talking to him as a dad really helps me. ❤️